I started writing this blog post a few weeks ago when I was really in a low place. Some days it took me until 2:30 p.m. to get out of bed. I spent all day watching TV and I barely ate. Night after night, I was plagued by insomnia. Almost all of my groceries went bad each week because, even though I normally love to cook, I just couldn’t motivate myself to do it. I felt anxious and reclusive and just plain sad.
I’ll say upfront that I much prefer to write about my triumphs on the internet than my struggles. But it’s important to admit that some days (and even some weeks or months), depression and anxiety can smack me in the face out of nowhere. And it’s confusing, exhausting, frustrating and really sucky.
As a very achievement-oriented person, it’s hard not to feel ashamed when I slip into a depression like I did a few weeks ago. I struggled with thinking that if I just worked a little harder or had more discipline, I would be able to fix it and feel better. It’s so easy to be consumed by embarrassment, loneliness and shame. But I slowly committed to a few things that helped me make it through.
- I made an appointment with my psychiatrist as soon as I recognized the problem and I got a new medication that has helped dramatically.
- I went to therapy more.
- I took melatonin at 10 p.m. each night to ensure I was getting enough sleep, which is especially crucial for people with bipolar.
- I dove into self-help books.
- I dragged myself to a coffee shop each morning to give me a reason to get dressed and leave the house.
- I tried to create something each day, no matter how small (more on that later).
- I reached out to friends as much as I could to keep from isolating myself.
- I finally cleaned my disaster of a room and forced myself to keep it that way.
- I spent as much time as possible outside and in nature.
- I did yoga.
- I started writing down things I’m grateful for every morning
And little by little, I started to feel better.
Now, a few weeks later, I’m happier than I have been in a long time. I feel like myself again, I’ve re-established my positive habits, I’m exercising, and my drive and motivation are back (I’m finally finishing this post!).
I get really caught up in all the things I’m not doing when my mental health is in a bad place. But I’ve found that I have to be proud of the progress that I do make on bad days, even if it’s just getting out of bed and leaving the house before noon. If I can hold onto that pride, it helps carry me into doing a little more the next day. And then a little more the next. Overcoming depression is all about baby steps. But slowly, one day at a time, I promise it gets better.
Over the last two weeks, my room slowly devolved into complete and utter filth. The floor was totally buried in clothes and I had to step over piles of papers, shoes and purses to get around. There were leftover wrappers, empty Amazon boxes and some even some unwashed cups and dishes. Please don’t judge me too much, but the state of things in my bedroom was pretty grim.
Now I can assure you that this is not my preferred my way of living and I swear, in the rest of my life I am not a total disaster. But as many of you with ADD may relate to, I just couldn’t will myself to focus on cleaning it up. I had put it off for so long that the mountain of stuff in front of me had become too overwhelming for me to even process where to start.
By the time it became intolerable, I knew I had to conquer my mess. But I kept starting in one area of my room and then switching to another area, then getting distracted again. When the biggest problem was folding and putting away my clothes, I got bored and cleaned my sink instead — a much less urgent task.
So I turned to my American Shaman CBD Oil to help me focus and the biggest strategy I landed on was really committing to cleaning one thing at a time, whether that’s a certain corner of your room or tackling all your clothes at once. It was hard to stay focused long enough to clean the giant mess I had created, but by the end, it was so worth it. A clean room did wonders for my mental health and ended up helping my focus going forward.
My mess mission now is to follow the advice I read earlier in the year and commit to taking care of my clothes and messes right in the moment. I still find myself tossing a shirt on the floor when I get home and I know my habits won’t change right away. But little by little I’m learning to fold right when I get home.
How do you keep a clean room? Let me know in the comments?
At first, I was skeptical of all the CBD hype. I kept reading about how it had healed a variety of physical and mental ailments but I figured it was too good to be true. Then I tried American Shaman’s Water Soluble Oil and the results honestly blew me away.
A few weeks ago, I woke up feeling distracted, unproductive and didn’t even want to get out of bed. I took a walk hoping that would help me reset but I still felt just as out of it when I got home. With nothing left to try, I decided to drink a little bit of the American Shaman Water-Soluble Oil sample I had bought on a whim a while ago.
I can honestly say that the CBD oil turned my entire day turned around. I suddenly felt motivated and focused. I cleaned my whole room, wrote a blog post and finished my homework. My mood was elevated. My anxiety improved. I felt infinitely better than I had just hours before. I was so blown away that I actually called both of my parents to tell them how excited I was about this new product. Over the last few weeks, I’ve continued to drink the Water Soluble Oil each morning and it’s been obvious that it still makes a huge difference in my day whenever I use it. While I definitely cannot recommend CBD on a medical level, I can certainly say it has begun to make a huge positive difference in my mood, my anxiety and my ADHD.
This is why I am so tremendously excited to announce that I am partnering with American Shaman to help you all get the CBD I have found so valuable! And the Water Soluble Oil isn’t their only product I love. I’ve started using their Hydrating Body Lotion and Lip Revitalizer too. I particularly love the lotion because it makes my skin feel unbelievably soft but also helps relieve some of the aches and pains in my muscles. The texture isn’t greasy like many other CBD lotions and it has a lovely, calming lavender smell. The Lip Revitalizer has also been a lifesaver for my chapped lips because I’ve found that the CBD makes it extra hydrating and it’s not full of fake chemicals and fragrances like many other chapsticks. Everything American Shaman makes is organic, non-GMO and lab-tested to ensure everything is safe and high-quality.
I am partnering with American Shaman because their products — especially the Water Soluble Oil — have genuinely made a huge positive impact on my mental health and I hope they can help you all too.
Head to AMERICAN SHAMAN’S WEBSITE and use my discount code SS10 for 10% off your order!
Sudden warm weather tends to make me absolutely ecstatic.
But the last few weeks in Nashville have brought some wild weather, from terrible thunderstorms to beautiful 70 degree days, to a dramatic drop to an icy 20 degrees, all within two weeks.
I tend to forget the serious impact that weather changes can have on mood. But this bout of insane weather gave me a big reminder of the reality of seasonal impacts on both depression and hypomania.
When the sun appeared out of nowhere last week I found myself suddenly in an almost manic state — cleaning my house, getting all my projects done, starting new ones and feeling almost euphorically confident. Then as the rain and cold set in days later, I became withdrawn, unmotivated and struggled to finish my work or post the blogs I wanted to. I went to my psychiatrist wondering if I was having bizarre several-day-long bipolar episodes. Thankfully, she told me the answer was more likely my mental health responding to the changing weather.
I was so glad to have this clarity about my last few weeks. But with another couple months of potentially temperamental weather before summer, I need to make sure I am prepared to deal with the mental impact on the seasons.
So here’s what I’m doing to stay sane. To start, I’m looking into buying a special seasonal depression light, which helps mimic the effects of the sun on your brain while you’re at your desk. I’ve also found that I need to make sure I get out of bed early and kickstart my day with caffeine on the colder and drearier days. Honestly, if I don’t force myself to get working, I may end up lying in bed for hours doing nothing while it rains. On the sunnier days when I suddenly feel like superwoman, I’m making sure to take time for mindfulness and meditation, to help balance out my suddenly hyperactive brain.
Most importantly, we all need to have a little grace with ourselves during this time when our mental health may be a bit less reliable.
What do you do for seasonal mental health? Let me know in the comments!